MY PAL MAL

Talking to strangers isn't always socially acceptable. But sometimes you offer to go to church with a total stranger and that stranger ends up becoming your best friend.

Try this one at home, kids! (In the safest way possible, please and thanks.)

A mutual friend introduced us at a crappy country concert (so, a country concert?) the Saturday before school began. Standing in line waiting for wild boar tacos, Mallory mentioned that she didn't have anyone to go to church with. Despite the fact that I had just met her five minutes ago, didn't want to go to the church she was talking about, and already had plans to go with someone else, I offered to go with her. 

 The next morning I got into the car with a stranger but came home with one of the truest friends I've ever known.

I love how God works.

Coming to Texas was like starting from scratch. I didn't have a friend come with me, or even a friend-of-a-friend to latch onto for the initial immersion period. I literally didn't know a single soul. Many prayers were said over me for the Lord to bring someone into my life and though I prayed for that too, I set my expectations very low. I expected it to be painful and awful and lonely and hard.

And it was! But I didn't have to go through all of it alone. 

Because before school even started, God answered that prayer and gave me Mal.

From day one Mal has encouraged me, challenged me, laughed with me (also at me), not judged me for how much salt I put on my food and fully embraced my weird gum addiction. We've been to concerts, coffee shops, and Chipolte countless times together. She's heard my story, listens when I'm stressed and NEVER makes fun of me for taking 1720900 photos of everything I see.

Someone recently told me that they admired our friendship because they saw how well we love one another. And although I know I definitely miss the mark a lot, the friendship Mallory and I have is so special because it is so real. We've prayed together, cried together, been stressed together. Sometimes we've been angry, upset and hurt. But at the end of the day, we know that God is using our friendship to strengthen us, encourage one another and show people the love of Christ. 

Mallory has taught me that friendship isn't only about what you give and get. Friendship is about living out the love of Christ and giving God all the glory along the way.

Our friendship has taught me so much. First of all, I now know a lot about true Texas Tacos (Torchys forever!!) And secondly, through Mallory's example, I am learning what it's like to truly love someone as Christ does. I'm not perfect by any means, and I make a lot of mistakes but wow. Some days I can't get over how blessed I am to have a pal like Mal in my life.

And by some days, I mean every single day.

KRYN'S FIRST SNOW DAY

When they cancel school for the day at 8:20... but you're already in your 8am class.
 Even though I did live in Montana for a couple years, we never had the luxury of snow days because our school was um, in our house haha. So you can imagine how excited I was when the forecast predicted sheets of sleet and snow. The entire walk to class in sleeting hail I was praying that a.) I wouldn't slip and b.) that school would be cancelled for the day. And Jesus was listening! I wish he maybe would have anticipated the prayers so I could have stayed in bed all together but either way, we got my wish. A snow day! No school!

Honestly, I've seen better snow and if I'm REALLY being honest, I wouldn't have minded going to class anyway. But hey, now I can say that I've officially had my first snow day. And when I'm 80 years old, I'll be sure and exaggerate the details and say that I was walking uphill to class both ways through deep drifts of snow and my grandkids will no doubt be very impressed.

Or at least, they'd better pretend to be :)

(Mal and Haley were great sports in the snow. They were my first friends here and I'm happy we got to dance in the snow....i mean slip on ice, together!)

TWENTY IN TEXAS // weekend sweeter than sugar

If the calendar year is like a cake, then December is the frosting on top. And the only thing sweeter than a copious amounts of sugary frosting is friends who throw you a surprise party and give you copious amounts of said frosting! December 1st is always my favorite day of the year because it always puts everything back into perspective for me and reminds me how blessed these years of my life have been. Life isn't always easy but there are so many people in my life that make each day so much sweeter. Turning 20 in Texas reminded me of just that. 

My dear sweet human Mallory threw me a surprise party. And by surprise I mean, she accidentally told me about it the day before and then made me walk in twice because she forgot to film it but either way, what a win. What did surprise me (actually) was how freaking thoughtful every detail was. Apples because I eat like 16189 a day, frosting because theres nothing gluten free in the bakery so that's all I can eat, pink everything because duh and LANY was playing in the background because nothing describes my life more than those lyrics.

Every detail was so thoughtful and wow. I could cry just thinking about it!

"Because Diet Coke with Lime is your favorite!"

On my actual birthday I wore my favorite little plaid pants and even though I had classes all day, it was so fun. After class we had a little photoshoot then hit the road because what place is there to spend your 20th birthday other than Lubbock, Texas?

Our time at Tech began with some technical difficulties for me, but the next day I went to Sugar Browns for a couple hours to do homework and it was definitely a good decision. Never in my life did I think I'd spend the day after my 20th birthday in a random coffee shop in a random town in Texas, but I love how life works. You know what else I loved? The acai bowl I inhaled SO quickly that I forgot to take a photo.  

(Mallory, Mallory, Me and Sarah. Apparently homeschool girls don't know to wear black.)
The actual real reason we went to Lubbock was to attend a formal for a fraternity that we are definitely not apart of (because uh, we're girls?) at a school of which we most certainly do not attend (because uh, we go to ACU?) either.

Our dates were super fun and absolutely precious.  And considering that we met them 5 minutes before walking into the formal, I think the entire night went very well and definitely wasn't as awkward as we anticipated.

(Unfortunately our dancing was just as awkward as we expected.)

The next morning we went to church, ate the most amazing taco's our life and frolicked around downtown Lubbock which is actually pretty dang cute. Plus I found a pink house! What more could I want in life/for my birthday weekend celebration?

A week before I turned 20, I was terrified. Today, I'm thankful because through another year of life I have learned that The Lord can provide in ways we never expected. He has given me amazing friends, a wonderful time in Texas and He went above and beyond and blessed me with everything from the acai to the pink house on Broadway.

HAPPY DECEMBER / DEFINING DECADE! 

Birthdays past...

14 // 15 // 16 // 17 // 18 // I never turned 19 apparently // 

ME MINUS EVERYTHING EQUALS ??

I'm Karissa. I live by the beach. I'm tan. I'm a photographer. I go to Moes and Chickfila at least 5 times a week. I go to three different churches and I watch the sunset at my spot on the river every night.

Except now, the only thing that hasn't changed on that list is my name.

It took leaving home and moving to Texas to realize that WHERE I am actually has very little to do with who I am. It was unsettling at first. What am I without a house by the beach and a job that I love? Who am I when I'm not in my normal setting of church and friends and school? What am I like-really?

Though unknowingly, I came to college with the expectation that my well established life and routines would be exactly the same. I thought it would be easy to slip back into my old life, yet in a new place. Surely it wouldn't be too hard! I mean, they have Chick-Fil-A on campus and the sun sets every day no matter what so there's that.

Well the Chick-Fil-A closes at 7pm. And doesn't serve salads. And I miss most of the sunsets because I'm in lab or the library.

So what am I, without that? Who am I, when I'm stripped of all the external things that made me, me?

I'm Karissa. I live in Abilene Texas. I don't live by the beach, and my parents won't for much longer either. I study biology. I eat at least 4 apples every day. I'm obviously not tan at ALL. I see the sunsets as I'm walking home from the library.

Every physical marker that I associated with my identity has changed. From my possessions (new car!) to profession (no job!) to passions (passing classes) to popularity (ha, that's laughable) has all changed. I don't wear dresses very often, I hardly do a full face of makeup. I can't get up at 6:30 because my roommate would murder me, and rightfully so.

It was suffocating at first. I can't be me! The one thing I'm sure of in life is who I am. 

The thing is, you can't force an old life into a new location. You can't move to a totally new place, leave everything you know behind...yet expect it to be the same? Because that would be weird and also, completely physically impossible. But I tried anyway, because that was my life! It was what I knew.

The only thing beyond my name that hasn't changed, is Jesus. 

In a day my identity went from established to very confused, but He was the same. When I was worried about who to be, He never changed. His love for me and grace in my life didn't stop when I moved 3,000 miles from home. If anything, the less I have of me in the way, the more room in my life I have for The Lord.

It's painful. It's hard to let go of things you thought were a part of your identity. But really on this earth?. And beaches and tans are nice and all, but really the only thing I've got for sure and forever is my name and my savior.

(But if Jesus doesn't mind, I'd love to get the tan back!)

ABILENE, YOU'RE THE DREAM.

When we moved back to Florida in 2010, I thought I was finished with small towns forever.

When I was 3/4 of the way  through senior year and hadn't submitted one application, I assumed going off to college was just a childhood fantasy.

And when I swore that I'd never wear grape purple again well...just look at my hat (and the 4 shirts I bought in the campus store.)

I'M MOVING TO TEXAS IN FIVE DAYS TO ATTEND A SMALL SCHOOL IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.

And I couldn't be more excited.

I was sitting in the dining hall back in February, wondering what I was doing 10 million miles from home, considering a school in a town in Texas that was so small I wasn't even sure it had a target. On paper the school looked good, in person it was pretty good too, but I wasn't convinced. I wasn't convinced until God spoke to me as clearly as the plate of french fries I was eating had spoken to me earlier. For whatever reason, this was the place where healing would begin. In the Dining hall at Abilene Christian University, of all the places God could pick!

For whatever reason, thats what He chose for me.

And so, I'm going.

I move in two days! I picked out a pink comforter. I'm still trying to figure out how I can bring my dog. I'm nervous and anxious and stressed but at the end of the day, I'm going where God wants me. And that matters way more than if Abilene has a Target or not.

Which PRAISE THE LORD, they do.

Now I can be broke forever!

FRENCH, FRANCE AND JESUS: THE UPDATE.

I'm sure this has kept you up at night. You've been tossing and turning wondering, "What did she get on her French final?"

Or you didn't even know I was taking French! That's another very likely possibility.

I wrote about it in this post (and included some very favorite photos from The Paris Market in Downtown Savannah!) but basically, my grade sucked. And yes, we all get bad grades from time to time, save a select few of academic angels. But for some reason, this grade was especially disappointing to me, and I was probably a bit salty about the fact that I didn't fall into the academic angel category probably. At any rate, French was my least favorite topic. Yet the one I needed to study most for.

One day as I was studying (sort of) (mostly just dozing off) I had a weird thought "What if I actually get an A? If I do, I'll buy myself a nice lipstick." The thought was mildly motivating and kept me awake for another solid study session. But still, an A? That seemed pretty far fetched.

The thought of a lipstick at the end of the road was enough to motivate me slightly. But also I knew it wasn't a reality, so I wouldn't have to spend money on it at the end of the day. Kind of a win-win! Except a lipstick (and an A) would have been cool.

Directly after my exam I came home for bible study. I knew I had done okay on the test, but also knew I messed up a lot as well. We prayed, talked, potentially cried but I can't remember, watched the bachelor and I checked my grade.

For some perspective, the last test I got a 73.
Yet somehow on the final, I ended up with a 114. Bringing my grade from a C to an A! Also bringing my jaw to the floor.

(photos from paris in 2014)

My point in writing this post isn't to publicly celebrate my grade of flaunt my Phoenix abilities. I'd been discouraged about this class for months. I had mentally accepted the final B or C. Life would go on. God would still be in control. Really, it would all be fine.

But then God said, "Wait, I have something better in mind."

The beauty of this situation, and the life lesson I hope to learn and remember, is that God always waits till the right time to work. If he had given me a great grade from the get-go, I probably wouldn't have prayed as much. Had I started off with a higher standing in the class, I wouldn't have been humbly driven to my knees. He held out on me, until I was fully sold out for Him.

God want's our best days and our worst days. He loves us through bad grades and good grades and He will bless us when HE knows we are ready for it. Not when we think we deserve it.

This is just a small situation in life, but one where I saw God moving and working so clearly. And on that note, I know it won't be the last time God waits to bless me, even when it seems like its too late. It wont be the last time I see Him moving and working in my life. And while I've already forgotten every word of French, my hope is that I never forget what Christ has shown me through this situation.

Now obviously it's not really practical to put up a pillar of stones in my bedroom, but hey! This lipstick is my proverbial pillar of stones. So naturally, I had to go all out.

I ended up picking out a YSL lipstick. I mean, after passing french, a French lipstick brand seemed only fitting. After spending 14 years in Sephora going back and forth (cute or practical? Fun or extra wearable?) I settled on Smoking Plum, a rich purple with a glossy finish that I truly love/want to wear everyday. 

It sits on my vanity now. For one, the packaging is ridiculously pretty. And secondly, the price tag is high enough to quality this as not only a lipstick but also a piece of decor. And thirdly, every time I pass it or use it-the lipstick seems to say, "Hey, remember the time that God to bless you and you passed French? And not because you deserved it either, but because He is the epitome of goodness itself."

So yeah, I guess you could say it's my proverbial pillar of stones. In all honestly, it's a way better reminder of God's love than stones would be. I use lipstick everyday! And what else do I need daily?

To be reminded that God is in control and He will move when He is ready, not when it's easiest or most convenient for me.