2017 BLOOPERS

Fine, I'll go ahead and say it: These are not the worst of the worst.

Mostly because I deleted those and unfortunately not because I became a model and now every photo taken of me is perfect. Normally I like my bloopers to be blackmail material quality but the battle between bloopers and hard-drive space was won by the pressing need for space on my computer. The casualties of that battle ended up being a couple of golden bloopers. Still though, I think these definitely suffice! 

I just know these also don't fully capture how ugly and unphotogenic I can truly be, so there're that. 

I guess that just means there's more to look forward to for next year?

Bloopesrs of bygone years....

2014 // 2015 // 2016 // 

ME MINUS EVERYTHING EQUALS ??

I'm Karissa. I live by the beach. I'm tan. I'm a photographer. I go to Moes and Chickfila at least 5 times a week. I go to three different churches and I watch the sunset at my spot on the river every night.

Except now, the only thing that hasn't changed on that list is my name.

It took leaving home and moving to Texas to realize that WHERE I am actually has very little to do with who I am. It was unsettling at first. What am I without a house by the beach and a job that I love? Who am I when I'm not in my normal setting of church and friends and school? What am I like-really?

Though unknowingly, I came to college with the expectation that my well established life and routines would be exactly the same. I thought it would be easy to slip back into my old life, yet in a new place. Surely it wouldn't be too hard! I mean, they have Chick-Fil-A on campus and the sun sets every day no matter what so there's that.

Well the Chick-Fil-A closes at 7pm. And doesn't serve salads. And I miss most of the sunsets because I'm in lab or the library.

So what am I, without that? Who am I, when I'm stripped of all the external things that made me, me?

I'm Karissa. I live in Abilene Texas. I don't live by the beach, and my parents won't for much longer either. I study biology. I eat at least 4 apples every day. I'm obviously not tan at ALL. I see the sunsets as I'm walking home from the library.

Every physical marker that I associated with my identity has changed. From my possessions (new car!) to profession (no job!) to passions (passing classes) to popularity (ha, that's laughable) has all changed. I don't wear dresses very often, I hardly do a full face of makeup. I can't get up at 6:30 because my roommate would murder me, and rightfully so.

It was suffocating at first. I can't be me! The one thing I'm sure of in life is who I am. 

The thing is, you can't force an old life into a new location. You can't move to a totally new place, leave everything you know behind...yet expect it to be the same? Because that would be weird and also, completely physically impossible. But I tried anyway, because that was my life! It was what I knew.

The only thing beyond my name that hasn't changed, is Jesus. 

In a day my identity went from established to very confused, but He was the same. When I was worried about who to be, He never changed. His love for me and grace in my life didn't stop when I moved 3,000 miles from home. If anything, the less I have of me in the way, the more room in my life I have for The Lord.

It's painful. It's hard to let go of things you thought were a part of your identity. But really on this earth?. And beaches and tans are nice and all, but really the only thing I've got for sure and forever is my name and my savior.

(But if Jesus doesn't mind, I'd love to get the tan back!)

Hydrangea Heaven

I spent all morning in biology learning about plants, specifically angiosperms aka FLOWERS. Back in Savannah in the summer, the hydrangeas were in full bloom and the absolute most beautiful thing ever. Learning about the intricate plant cells and tissue isn't exactly the most exciting thing but wow, I'm a sucker for a good monocot! Look how pretty they are.

Summer Days in Savannah

It's freaking October and I'm just now sitting down to write about our summer adventures in Savannah. Granted I just moved across the country, started college and lost my tan in a week but yeah, excuses excuses.

It was my goal this year to see my friend Sarah McNair. Lucky me, I saw her twice and was in her wedding! She wasn't even engaged when I made that goal, so either I'm a prophet or God is just really good at being God. (you pick!) Either way, I'm so thankful I got to spend time with Sarah. There are some friends where you know that no matter what, you'll be friends forever. Sarah is one of those people, and I'm so glad she's in my life.

I met all these girls at TeenPact, isn't that so funny? I guess the pencil skirts and political debates were good for something. I met Sarah and Nellie back in Georgia in 2014 (see it HERE, also lol at the fact that Sarah and I didn't really even know one another then.) and then we all connected again at NC the same year (see here) and added bri to the party. Easily without a doubt, they are some of my all time favorite people. I'm baffled at the way that TeenPact creates such strong friendships. It's weird and super awkward but WORTH every second.

Sarah wasn't in Savannah when I went over spring break (say that ten times fast), so it was a treat to be able to explore the city with a native this time around. Obviously I'm smitten with the old fashioned Charm of the city....the sweltering heat? Not so much.

I love these women with my whole heart. Also, I love the random lady we asked to take this photo because it actually turned out! Cheers to our #IDOCREW and such a fun weekend in Savannah.

ABILENE, YOU'RE THE DREAM.

When we moved back to Florida in 2010, I thought I was finished with small towns forever.

When I was 3/4 of the way  through senior year and hadn't submitted one application, I assumed going off to college was just a childhood fantasy.

And when I swore that I'd never wear grape purple again well...just look at my hat (and the 4 shirts I bought in the campus store.)

I'M MOVING TO TEXAS IN FIVE DAYS TO ATTEND A SMALL SCHOOL IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.

And I couldn't be more excited.

I was sitting in the dining hall back in February, wondering what I was doing 10 million miles from home, considering a school in a town in Texas that was so small I wasn't even sure it had a target. On paper the school looked good, in person it was pretty good too, but I wasn't convinced. I wasn't convinced until God spoke to me as clearly as the plate of french fries I was eating had spoken to me earlier. For whatever reason, this was the place where healing would begin. In the Dining hall at Abilene Christian University, of all the places God could pick!

For whatever reason, thats what He chose for me.

And so, I'm going.

I move in two days! I picked out a pink comforter. I'm still trying to figure out how I can bring my dog. I'm nervous and anxious and stressed but at the end of the day, I'm going where God wants me. And that matters way more than if Abilene has a Target or not.

Which PRAISE THE LORD, they do.

Now I can be broke forever!

Happy afternoon in Highland Village

Do you ever just go somewhere and feel COMPLETELY out of place? Normally that feeling for me is reserved specially for the gym, I'm always a fish out of water where workouts are involved. That being said, I experienced that feeling in a totally new setting while in Dallas. Located right near SMU, Highland Park Village is brimming with designer shops, couture grocery stores and parking lots that resemble those of an Audi dealership. Normally I love to slide my way in to an expensive area, pretending (even if it's just for a moment) that my reality of college student isn't true and that I can actually afford all the $8 latte's my heart desires.

Unfortunately, that isn't the case.

And also unfortunately, I couldn't even find a way to feel like I fit in at Highland Park. 

Too many Nike swooshes on ladies dressed to the nines in athleisure. Too many judge mental looks....so what if my bag is from old navy! Sorry I got a better deal than you! Too many overpriced gluten free, refined sugar free, dairy free desserts. It was all just a little too much for me.

We took our cupcakes and ran to the nearest park, and while it was still in the Highland Park vicinity, it proved to be much more peaceful and felt a lot less pressured to put on a perfect facade. I can only pretend to be rich for so long! 

Like, 5 minutes. My bank account doesn't allow for much more than that. 

Texas or Tuscany?

Texas or Tuscany? You decide. 

We were driving around and found this adorable little area outside of Dallas. It felt like we had been transported to Tuscany, but the best part is everyone spoke english. And there was starbucks! And it didn't require an 8 hour flight.

Now that I think about it, I'll take Tuscan Texas over the real deal anyway.