ME MINUS EVERYTHING EQUALS ??

I'm Karissa. I live by the beach. I'm tan. I'm a photographer. I go to Moes and Chickfila at least 5 times a week. I go to three different churches and I watch the sunset at my spot on the river every night.

Except now, the only thing that hasn't changed on that list is my name.

It took leaving home and moving to Texas to realize that WHERE I am actually has very little to do with who I am. It was unsettling at first. What am I without a house by the beach and a job that I love? Who am I when I'm not in my normal setting of church and friends and school? What am I like-really?

Though unknowingly, I came to college with the expectation that my well established life and routines would be exactly the same. I thought it would be easy to slip back into my old life, yet in a new place. Surely it wouldn't be too hard! I mean, they have Chick-Fil-A on campus and the sun sets every day no matter what so there's that.

Well the Chick-Fil-A closes at 7pm. And doesn't serve salads. And I miss most of the sunsets because I'm in lab or the library.

So what am I, without that? Who am I, when I'm stripped of all the external things that made me, me?

I'm Karissa. I live in Abilene Texas. I don't live by the beach, and my parents won't for much longer either. I study biology. I eat at least 4 apples every day. I'm obviously not tan at ALL. I see the sunsets as I'm walking home from the library.

Every physical marker that I associated with my identity has changed. From my possessions (new car!) to profession (no job!) to passions (passing classes) to popularity (ha, that's laughable) has all changed. I don't wear dresses very often, I hardly do a full face of makeup. I can't get up at 6:30 because my roommate would murder me, and rightfully so.

It was suffocating at first. I can't be me! The one thing I'm sure of in life is who I am. 

The thing is, you can't force an old life into a new location. You can't move to a totally new place, leave everything you know behind...yet expect it to be the same? Because that would be weird and also, completely physically impossible. But I tried anyway, because that was my life! It was what I knew.

The only thing beyond my name that hasn't changed, is Jesus. 

In a day my identity went from established to very confused, but He was the same. When I was worried about who to be, He never changed. His love for me and grace in my life didn't stop when I moved 3,000 miles from home. If anything, the less I have of me in the way, the more room in my life I have for The Lord.

It's painful. It's hard to let go of things you thought were a part of your identity. But really on this earth?. And beaches and tans are nice and all, but really the only thing I've got for sure and forever is my name and my savior.

(But if Jesus doesn't mind, I'd love to get the tan back!)

Here's to you.

AN ODE TO ORANGE...

...and the fact that I finally got to experience fall weather that was lower than 80 degrees!

PUMPKIN PARTAY

Due to a little interuption of blog flow thanks to my novelette, these are going up AFTER halloween! Is it like a sin or something to post pumpkin patch photos after Halloween? If so, I'm a definite heathen because look at this post!

Sarah and I literally began planning this the first day of October. Every day texting back in forth about poses and pumpkin sizes and outfit choices. And then the day came, in which we were to go to the pumpkin patch! We rounded the corner to be met with a field full of pumpkins....and a lot of unexpected anxiety!

Continuing on with the theme of my sinful ways, I lied to the sweet pumpkin patch guy! "It's a school project!" I told him. He fell for it!! Or at least, he didn't let on that he could see through our shenanigans, which is basically the same kind of thing.

As instructed by Kathleen Kelly....

Don't you love New York in the Fall? It makes me want to buy school supplies - I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name or address.

Watching You've Got Mail and going to New York City in the same weekend has to be the coincidence of a life time.

I actually wrote a whole post about You've Got Mail because well, You've Got Mail is like a pair of warm socks on a cold day or the first splash in the pool on a hot one. It's refreshing. It's warm. It's perfect.

As we explored around the city, I felt a little bit of Kathleen Kelly. Both in me (on high alert for daisies! the world's friendliest flower!) and around me, like she was watching. And I think it would be a great honor to have Kathleen Kelly watching me explore her most beloved city.

Our day was actually a "disaster" by first world standards. First, we missed our flight. BUT! I ended up going to a new state, so check New Jersey off the list. Then we had to wait 10 extra minutes underground on dirty Ebola encrusted benches because I lost the directions to my subway pass. But I don't have ebola...yet. Then we walked around the city for about 2 hours only to miss the ferry to Lady Liberty.

So! As watched from the promenade as the last ferry left (without us on it, that's the kicker) Kathleen Kelly came in a vision, dancing on the Hudson, and said in a breathy voice  "To Brooklyn."

And so, we went to Brooklyn.

(shoutout to shadow dad and fly catching mouth kryn. But it's Fall and I didn't mind wearing jeans so we gotta celebrate...by throwing baby leaves!)

Thanks New York!
And with that, I hope your mango is ripe.

PS: if you don't get that: go watch You've Got Mail.

Hola to you, October!

Cue everything pumpkin spice, because it's October kids!

(but if you're on instagram, you already knew all this.)

Anyway, I've had a mild case of Downton Abbey obsession, which naturally comes with a side effect of tea cravings. I mean, I've only watched like 6 episodes today. Like I said, a mild case. Nothing major.

But anyway! It's October (like we've previously stated) and with that comes all the pumpkin fall craze....for everyone but us because Florida isn't very good about being seasonally appropriate. Once again we didn't get the cooler weather memo or the falling leaves. But then again, it's not like I really have time for anything.....

Except for Downton Abbey, of course.

OCTOBER GOALS:

Post on social media once a week

Blog weekly

Make pumpkin stuff!

Fall shoot with Sarah

Work on Christmas boxes

Get back to bible studying

Enjoy the end of volleyball

get my permit (ha. that's a joke.)

COLOR MY HAIR, GO KRYN.

What goals are you planning up? Bathing in Pumpkin Spice Lattes? I wouldn't blame you!

XOXO,
PS EVERYTHING

Blue Ridge and Hockey thoughts (clearly related!)

HMMM....how cliche is this? Let me use this inspiring photo and make a complete left turn: HOCKEY! Our 2nd night, we went to a hockey game at Liberty and...GOOD GRAVY, HOCKEY IS THE GREATEST! I actually walked in thinking I was gonna cry (it seemed to be the thing that trip, ya know?)  It was loud and cold and LOUD. But lo and behold, hockey is the bestest! The brawling, oh my. I have never before taken delight (or even interest!) in grown men fighting but apparently, it's quite enjoyable. Anyway, left turn. Backtracking to autumnal things....

▲▲ Blue Ridge ya'll. And what is it about fall that makes me say ya'll? Rhyming, I guess, but then, I digress.

I'll stop now.

Oh, and thank you blogger for making my pictures blurry! So sweet of you!

▲▲ Clearly, I have mastered the art of looking scenic, whatever that is.

X and O's to infinity for you Fall (or let me be hipster, AUTUMN.) And if I were really hipster, I would be saying this whilst drinking a pumpkin latte or whatever those are. But I destest drinking wood, so hot chocolate for me!

HEY FALL, NICE TO MEET YOU.

Oh Fall!

To be quite honest, this trip was miserable. Now hear me out, it wasn't ALL miserable, of course! Therefore, I will only be highlighting the non miserable parts, and you will wind up thinking I had a magical time, ALL the time! And go ahead and think that if you like. It's probably a lot prettier of a thought than me bawling in Panera.

No joke.

On a side note, I was wearing waterproof mascara, so all was well!

But FALL....Fall is beautiful. Seeing the trees change, and the air beginning to chill, it always reminds me that God is a VERY loving God. He gave us Fall to enjoy, to frolic in, to take pictures of. Yes, and even to cry alligator tears in Panera! Fall is full of good things, if I'm willing to look.

Now, on to the fun!

“Spring passes and one remembers one's innocence.
Summer passes and one remembers one's exuberance.
Autumn passes and one remembers one's reverence.
Winter passes and one remembers one's perseverance.”
― Yoko Ono