A few months ago, my friends mom told me I was a pig predator. At first, I was kind of mad. But then I decided that I liked pigs lots and being a predator is quite an honor. So I embraced it and I am here to tell the world:
I hope you are not feeling embarrassed for me. Being a Pig Predator is cool! I know I have vegan friends, and I'm sorry... for you. Pigs are amazing and that tofacon just doesn't cut it.
So first and foremost - BACON is on the menu today. Is there really anything better than bacon? If so, let me know because I am interested in trying this wonder food. Oh and ham. Ham, I love you. You make me happy. And did you know that bacon is best alarm clock? Its true! Who doesn't want to get up when there is bacon frying and popping and sending delicious smells all around your house? And in our house, you have to get up, because there wont be any left if you hang out in bed!
Wanna know where my love for pigs started? Laura Ingalls. Blame her if you like, or thank her, but whichever way she's the one. I mean, they made balloons out of pig bladders - totally amazing! And then, the fried tale. Oh. My. Every time I think of pigs, I think of that. I have no idea why, but I have always wanted to try a crispy pig tale. Its on my bucket list. And trust me, it will be crossed off.
I think I should start a pig predator club. You are invite. Pledge your love for pigs and bacon (or ham) and you are in! We can have club meetings and eat bacon all day and talk about pig related issues. We can start a newspaper called "The Pig Predator Press" and write all kinds of cool piggish things. We need to elect officers - who wants to be president?
Happy Pig Day! Celebrate like you mean it, because you probably do.
