M&M

Sorry to all my other cousins, but I think these two cuties are my new favorites

I'm the second youngest cousin on my mom's side. Karoline, my cousin, is just two years younger than me. We were "the little girls" for the longest time. But thankfully we grew up and we have some pretty great replacements. My aunt and uncle adopted Maris and Marion in the same year, with the girls being 1 year apart. It's crazy, chaotic and yet the sweetest thing ever. Adoption is amazing and I'm so thankful we have these cuties in our family forever.

I actually hadn't met the girls until just a couple months ago (December to be exact!) Which is crazy, considering how obsessed I am with them now. When we visited them over spring break, I new it was time for some photos (new camera? new cousins? perfect.)

Is your heart exploding because, same! I'm so thankful that the Lord brought them into our family. They're a handful, of course, but a constant reminder of God's love and grace. Redemption is such a beautiful thing...also a blurry thing because these two would not sit still for photos. Thankfully they're stuck with me for life, they'll get the hang of this modeling thing soon.

Maris Laura and Marion Carol, welcome to the family! 
(and all the photoshoots that being related to me entails...;))

CHARMING CHARLESTON

Charleston has been on my list for so long! But even longer than that was my list of things to do in Charleston...which ironically we did not cross anything off of it. I guess that just means we will have to go back? 

I think that sounds about right!
And if you want to know the real reason I didn't cross much off the list, i'll tell you if you promise not to turn me in. My all time favorite fashion blogger just moved to Charleston. I don't really read any blogs anymore, except Gal Meets Glam. I read it literally just as religiously as I do my bible, and I have everyday for the past 4 years. I practically grew up with Julia! (we are on a first name basis, she just doesn't know it yet.)

Anyway, my mom and I are really good at finding things (of little importance) and we found Julias house, which happens to be on a historic homes walking tour so it actually isn't hard to find. So we parked a couple blocks away and walked by and JULIA. WAS. ON. THE. PORCH. Taking blog photos no less! My 12 year old heart died and went to heaven and so did my 19 year old heart as well.

I didn't take any photos or try and talk to them because, despite what this post suggests, I am not a creepy stalker. I'm just a deeply connected to Julia and her wardrobe and her penchant for pretty dresses. And now, I've seen her in person! Between Julia and tripping on Jen Gotch, I think I can die happily now.

Or at least not have a panic attack overtime I see someone who I follow on instagram IRL?
Hopefully our next trip to Charleston will involve actually crossing things off the to-do/see list but for now, I'm fairly content with everything that happened. And in case you were curious, Julia lives in a pink house.

No wonder I love her. 

Such is life, Such is FRE2

I really should be studying for my French 2 final right now...but instead I'm posting about the Paris Market in Savanah! That's the same thing right? And since we are here and I'm avoiding my homework like the plague, let's chat about French 2. Grab yourself a café au lait, we might be here awhile.

I've wanted to take French since the dawn of time (or really, ever since my mom started saying  Ne touchez pas to us when we were kids.) French 1 was fine and dandy and FRE2 has been anything but that. Which honestly, isn't a huge deal. A perfect grade isn't necessary for my degree and at the end of the day, its fine. 

But at the same time, it's not. Because eight year old Kryn wanted to learn French, just like her mom. And twelve year old Kryn was obsessed with everything Parisian. When sixteen year old Kryn went to Paris, it was if the stars had truly aligned. And when seventeen year old Kryn lived in Paris for a month (!!!), French felt like my destiny.

So you can imagine that when I'm sitting in room 220 at the community college and confusing the passĂ© compose conjugations of etre, it feels like I'm letting each of them down just a little bit. 

But you know what they say,  "c'est la vie" (and FRE2)
Isn't this place just the cutest? And while it didn't inspire me to study my verbs or vocabulary list, it did remind me why I love Paris, and France and French food in general. Even though FRE2 wasn't exactly the whimsical experience I had envisioned since I was a little girl, it's been a good learning experience. 

And if I ever go back to France one day, at least I'll know how to ask where the bathrooms are. It's the important stuff kids.

While our trip to the Paris Market might have been more successful than my midterm, I still have hope that a.) I'll pass b.) I'll go back to France and actually use said French one day and 3.) that someone will invent gluten free croissants.

But in the mean time, back to the flash cards I go.
Like I said before,
C'EST LA VIE.

(PARIS POSTS ANYONE? First time at Laduree. Proof that the Paris Market is legit. Day at Versailles and the First day of Summer in Paris.)

Spring sunshine in Savannah

Maybe it's just me, but I hadn't really thought much about Savannah before. I went with Lisa a couple years ago and it was fun, but I didn't really think it was a destination. Like sure if you're driving through and need to stop for lunch, stop there! But a whole trip?

Well, I was wrong!

Turns out Savannah in the spring is extra beautiful...so pretty in fact that we stopped back by on our way home from ATL. The trees are AMAZING and huge and also make it shady enough that it doesn't feel like a million degrees. We stopped in a little park and took some photos. It was so peaceful and other than the students late to SCAD that were rushing through, it was very relaxing!

And did I mention not a million degrees? That was by far the best part.



DALLAS ARBORETUM


If you like flowers, this is the post for you! If you don't...well I'll pray for you. And in the meantime, close this post (or actually, this whole blog?) because flowers are what it's all about. 

(like literally, look at the name of this blog?)

Story time: two years ago we went to Amsterdam in June. Which was fun! But I was sad because the Keukenhof Tulip festival was just 3 months before. And then last year we went to Seattle...but this time 3 months early for the seattle tulip festival. It's not to say that I've lost sleep over missing these flower festivals but at the same time, I was bummed!

When I saw a picture of the Dallas Arbortoreum on instagram and I happened to be IN Dallas at the same time,  I knew we had to go! It looked like a mini- Keukenhof, but everyone spoke english! And honestly, it was beautiful. SO MANY FLOWERS. And TULIPS. And every flora and fauna your heart could ever dream of.

(in case you were wondering, YES. This is all my childhood dreams/architecture projects come true.)

It wasn't Keukenhof or Seattle, but I think Dallas did pretty well huh? Heck, anywhere with a field of flowers is a win in my book!

(COWGIRL) KRYN GOES TO COLLEGE, Part II



This is as close as I'll get to wearing cowboy boots but in an interesting turn of events (also known as Jesus and His plan) I'M GOING TO TEXAS Y'ALL.

For college, not just for the tacos. Though if I could major in breakfast taco's, I for sure would.
Here's to texas, tacos and a whole lot of trust.

Perfect, imperfect Sense.


If there is one thing I've learned this year it's this:  following Jesus doesn't always make sense. 

We're human right? And even worse, we are sinners. Our logic, sense of right and wrong, our ethical values, common sense and all that jazz are all so...human. And earthly. And sinful. And lame, frankly.  Our natural tendency is to focus on ourselves, what benefits us, how we can make the most money and have the most friends and be the happiest with ourselves.

That's who we are, but that's not who we are supposed to be.

Following Jesus doesn't really make sense, in our limited human thinking.
It doesn't make sense to give up all your desires and dreams for one man, who doesn't even promise that life will be easy. It doesn't make sense to be nice to people who openly hate you. It doesn't really make sense to put your entire life in the hands of a God we can't even see...

But yet at the same time, it totally does. 

Following Jesus makes no sense to our sinful, human earthy flesh. Our earthy nature is hard-wired against a lifestyle like this making much sense. It's more than just something we hear on the internet or from people; we're told everyday to live for ourselves. We believe it. It's in us. 

That's why following Jesus is so radically different from anything on this earth, even our very flesh. Giving up yourself for someone else? That's not really logical. 
Giving up your cushy job to move to Africa? Makes zero sense.
Giving 10% of your income to the church? Weird.

But it isn't actually. 

Today is Easter Sunday, which happens to be a wonderful day because it is overflowing with peeps, floral dresses and of course, Jesus (literally all the best things in life.) Easter Church services, especially to those who have been Christians a while, can seem kind of redundant. Yes we know Jesus died. Yes we know our sins are forgiven. Yay we get to live in Heaven forever! Now...where are we going for lunch?

You know the drill.


But when you think about it, from a mere human perspective, Easter is weird and makes NO sense.
Why would Jesus come and die for us? That's a lot of work, for literally no reward.
Why would God send Jesus to earth? He could have just stayed in Heaven, way more enjoyable I'm sure. Why would God forgive us after we sinned so greatly?

None of that makes much sense either.
And that's why it's so painfully, awesomely beautiful.

None of it makes sense without God's love and His grace and His infinite wisdom. He loved us so much that He sent His son to die for us? THAT MAKES NO SENSE. In my limited range of thinking on earth, I can hardly comprehend. I won't even let people merge in front of me in traffic sometimes. It doesn't make sense to, I was there first right? 

Thank Goodness Jesus is a bit more loving than I am on the freeway.
None of what Jesus did made sense. Considering what a wreck we are, the way God loves us and fights for us and cherishes us makes equally no sense. None of the creation or resurrection story is "logical" by any earthly means. To our flesh it's not rational.

But it is real. 

And if Jesus died on a cross, his hands pierced with nails and His head pierced with thorns, for me and you and endured the pain of the weight of all our sins and being separated from His Father, the most seemingly "senseless" act in history- doing something that makes no "sense" on an earthly level for Christ is the very least I could do.
Less choices that "make sense" to my flesh.
More choices that give everything to Jesus.

SPRING BREAK IN THE SOUTH

SPRING BREAK,
SWEET TEA,
SUNDRESSES
AND SOUTHERN CHARM.

A spring break so southern that Nicholas Sparks novels are jealous!

PROJECT PAN


Not Peter Pan or a pan of cookies, today it's all about makeup pans...though I wouldn't be opposed to cookies either!

I'd never call myself a beauty guru. But then again, probably half beauty guru's on youtube probably aren't even worthy of the title either. Most of them are probably just girls like me, girls who enjoy playing around with makeup and enjoy having their zits covered even more.

Even though I've only been wearing makeup for three years (#homeschooled) I've built up a pretty decent stash. Not enough to warrant a makeup collection video, even though it was highly requested ;) (by my dog). But it was big enough to warrant a pan project! Which is great timing actually because the less makeup I have to haul to college, the more I'll be able to buy there ;)

WHAT IS PROJECT PAN?
(I know, you're thinking about cookies again. Me too!)

SPRING IS A HARD THING


I took a BuzzFeed quiz the other day. Something like "pick your favorite Cheetos flavor and we'll tell you a trait about yourself." I'm hoping that at one point in my life I'll totally NOT be intrigued by those dumb quizzes but that day hasn't come yet. I'm a child of the chain email quiz generation so I imagine that BuzzFeed quizzes are just a glorified version of those....but with less annoying fonts. 

Anyway, so besides determining the fact that my favorite Cheetos flavor is indeed the original, BuzzFeed also determined that my defining trait is Bravery.

Which I thought was pretty funny. Because, how could classic Cheetos ever equal bravery? But the more I thought about, the more I realized that BuzzFeed was actually right.

And boy let me tell you, I had major Cheeto cravings after that.


 A year ago, I broke up with my boyfriend because...I had too. I also can't go into detail because no one cares but me and my dog and also, I can hardly type a sentence properly let a lone a six month relationship saga. But moral of the story, it wasn't even something I wanted to do and it certainly wasn't the easy choice. I'll go even as far to say that breaking up with someone you really like, really care about and really don't want to hurt has to be one of the hardest things in (our easy 21st century first problems world) life.

We talked and even hung out a couple times after. Every other area of my life was falling apart and I just needed a friend, I couldn't handle the emotional responsibility of having a boyfriend. I told him that, he said he understood, that he didn't care. That he'd still be there for me.

Classic.

One week we're sitting on the pier at midnight talking about life and faith and jesus and grace and the next he's blocked me and unfollowed me and eradicated any memory that I had ever existed. 

Fun!

That was the very same day my dad left for a two week business trip to Japan.
The problem is, he never came back. 

I've seen him a couple times since, but it's never been the same. My dad who made eggs and toast every Saturday morning since I can remember, the dad who helped me plant my garden each year and the one who I rode bikes around the island with, that dad never came back.

Then after a terrible misrepresentation that involved a poetry book and unaccepted apology, my best friend at the time texted me, "We've been best friends for years, but our friendship can not be restored.
She never spoke to me again.

And so for the third time that month, I had to say goodbye to one of the most important people in my life. 

I think it's almost worse to lose someone and, at the same time, know they're still out there. They're still going to the same coffee shop. They still watch the same T.V shows. Their life is still exactly the same except for the fact that, they've decided, you can't be apart of it anymore.

That stings.

I've refrained from writing publicly about any of this for the past year and a half. I didn't want to name names, to blame anyone or sound like an emotional teenage girl who just vents all her feelings to the Internet (because there's enough of those already.) I wanted to wait till I could see God's purpose for the pain and how He would heal this heartache. 

It's taken a lot of grace to get me to this place. 


If there's one thing I've learned (beyond from the fact that I'm FAR from perfect) it's that the Lord has taught me to be brave. I know that had I gone through this on my own, I can guarantee you I would not have made it. There were so many days that I cried on the way to class, cried looking at happy families, cried when I was cleaning my mom's bathroom and found my parents wedding rings. So many moments when I screamed at Jesus, "I can't do this!"

And He was like, "LOL I KNOW. BUT YOU'RE DOING IT ANYWAY."

And through His love and grace, I did. I worked nine hour shifts with said ex-friend. I had a two hour conversation with my dad, the most I'd spoken to him in over a year. I was able to repair a friendship that had been broken through said ended-relationship. I learned that just when I was sure I was at the end of things, God was going to push me even further.

So Buzzfeed was right about two things: I love Cheeto's and I am brave. And while I'm fully responsible for the cheeto obsession, Jesus is 100% responsible for the bravery. He's the only reason I can face the pain over and over again. He is the one who picks me up and puts me back on the path, no matter how hard I try to get off of it. 

I've often wondered what the purpose of this pain will be. Will I write a bestselling Christian advice book and be an inspiration to millions? Probably not. Will I find a group of Jesus seeking girls that are so great I forget about all the other broken friendships? Maybe not. Will I marry the christian football player I've been stalking on instagram, somehow, as a result of all this? Highly unlikely.

I've come to accept the fact that maybe the purpose of this pain is more simple than I ever imagined: to be brave.

To be brave enough to trust Him fully with every aspect of my life, every friendship and relationship. 
To be brave enough to admit that I can't do it....BUT HE CAN.


So, in short, go ahead and take that BuzzFeed quiz. You never know what unique characteristic you will uncover. And then you can buy yourself a pack of cheetos and think of me! 

(Actually, just share them with me, that's a way better idea.)